I'm a planner. I plan for days....I literally have a plan for everything. BUT it never works out and I'm struggling to work out why. Let me take you through 3 plans which have been an:
Plan #1
I planned to wait 3 years after getting married before having a baby. In this day and age how hard can that actually be? (that's what he said) Lol if you get it...you get it. So I took all the right precautions got myself on the pill, which I planned to take daily (that flopped). I then tried the natural method making use of the technology that is now available apps etc. and on the fertile days it was a mixture of abstinence or the pull out game (that flopped). So anyway you've hopefully read the previous blog posts and are up to speed that I got set up/knocked up and now I have my bundle of joy Arianna, who I normally refer to as "my baby" during conversations which is quite weird. But after the horrific pain during labour I think I earned the right to call her whatever I want... She is awesome, look at her!
The thing is I know every parent thinks their child is really beautiful so I get worried that I may have filters on but then I think too many people say it to me, can they all really be lying? So I applied for her to join the top 3 baby modelling agencies in the UK because they don't mind calling your child butters...it's business. But they all ACCEPTED her. :-) If I was jobless she could be the new face of pampers...but mate I'm trying to sort my own career, can't be driving her for auditions every week that's a full time job! So she's gonna have to wait till she can catch bus...AWKS! Until that happens the only photoshoot she'll be getting is when Godmother J comes round with her fancy camera.
Plan #2
I planned to have a live in nanny, to help with childcare, household chores and basically helping me to sort out my life. To be a successful married mother you need to have balance on point! I've met and seen a lot of people who are either really successful in their careers and single or divorced; married with kids and an average career or a successful single mother but to do all three well, you need help! Anyways so I thought I had it all planned out, if I had this nanny I could go to work full time at normal hours so my baby (Arianna) would be looked after, there would be food for Prince and Gifty(sister/adopted daughter...long story) to eat and I would be getting on with making that money!
Anyways, it worked for a month...then it flopped! Exactly a week before I had to go back to work...why does my whole life need to be like some movie that went straight to DVD release? So I messed around with au pair world for a while...but then I thought if I rush it and I get a random that don't speak english too well moving in to my house a couple of days before I go back to work...it actually doesn't make sense! And as a mother you actually have to try to do the sensible thing...so I started looking for nurseries. Cut a long story short..I will be doing a blog on childcare. But in 3 words it is LONG, EXPENSIVE and a NIGHTMARE. My baby (Arianna) is basically doing a mix and match of all the childcare options at the same time, just to keep her on her toes...not because my plan was a major flop!
Plan #3
I planned to look ON POINT for my 1st day at work. You know that perfect look of flawless but it doesn't look like you tried! That perfect balance...I bought a new outfit, make-up and hair accessories. I even woke up half an hour earlier so I could take my time perfecting the look. I'll walk you through the morning. Brushed my teeth then had an extra long hot shower in the morning with mint shower gel.Then moisturised with cocoa butter and sprayed double portion of my deodorant because I remembered the stress of travelling on the central line. Put on my clothes,tights, jewellery etc. then started on #PROJECTMAKE-UP. D Day had come and I had bought all the necessary tools. I had gone out shopping the day before for eyeliner, a natural colour eye shadow and a make-up setting spray. So I started by using my primer then continued with the rest of my routine. Tears are falling as I write this bit because I'm still not quite over what I went through that horrific morning.
My make-up was fully done and it was the best I had ever done it. I looked in the mirror and I was thinking daaaaaaang why have I never taken the time to do my make-up like this??? I was feeling myself too much! I had definitely crossed the line of vanity. I guess thats why they say PRIDE comes before A FALL. I shook the make-up setting spray bottle then sprayed it all over my face. Looked in the mirror and it just looked a bit wet...I was like calm it will dry, let me pack my make-up away. Erm so 20 seconds later I look back in the mirror to admire myself and there was WHITE STUFF all over my face. I looked like a reverse dalmation and it had also gone all over the top of my black dress. Full break down mode, Nollywood style...held my head and did some dramatic scream, I only had 10 mins to get to the station! Anyways to cut a long story short, Prince said I looked like a vampire from Twilight in the sun and then told me to go wash my whole face and do 5 mins make-up so we could leave. The white stuff had proper dried on everything, even my eyelids and my lipstick. Mate, that wasn't even a fail it was a death a little part of me actually died. Everyone keeps cussing me about how you don't try new things on important days but maaate I wasn't ready....and I didn't see that coming.
Word of wisdom: If you fail at something, you are not a failure.The real failure is when you stop trying! All 3 of my plans failed but it's ok because when plans don't work out you should change the plan but never change the goal.
Disclaimer: Unless it's a crap goal...AWKS
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