Can't keep calm...I'm having twins!!!

LOL! You can tell I'm not a professional blogger...who starts a post with LOL! It's just the only word I can use to describe the moment we found out that it wasn't 1 baby but actually 2 babies at the 3 month scan.

I was overcome by so much emotion at the same time that I'm sure my face looked a bit like Eddie Murphy when he got to America (which is what he wanted ) but realised that it was completely different to what he expected...

Let me explain, this facial expression depicts joy, shock, anxiety and the reality that you are about to have 3 kids under the age of 2!!! The sonographer had to ask if I was alright and all I could muster was, MY MUM IS GOING TO KILL ME! My mum is both a twin herself (all of this is her fault) and a midwife (knows all the risks and horror stories etc.) so every time I opened my mouth to say, I'm definitely going to have twins one day, she would reply you have no idea how hard that will be, stop saying that! I was so adamant, I went on to say...if I don't have them naturally, I'll adopt them! At that point she probably chased me around with a wooden spoon to beat me up...simply because she knew twins would mean I would guilt her into looking after them for as long as possible!

Now Prince's reaction:

Grinning like a crazy person then laughing nervously then panicking. It was hilarious...went from no way that's amazing to crap, I need more money...I need a raise or a new job asap! Then back to laughter when he looked at my Eddie Murphy expression! Prince said from when we 1st got married that he wanted 6 kids minimum...yes all with me, he's not from Guyana! (Can't say the country I want to say or I will get cussed out by one of my closest friends.) In his head, we are 50% there but God knows 6 kids is not my portion.

Arianna was babbling away as usual, we couldn't understand a word...but I'm sure if we translated it she would be saying something like...that's not fair, I have to share my toys already!!! Ah well, baby girl suck it up...life is not fair!

After all the jokes are said and done, this has always been my dream and I'm excited to start this new chapter...I know it will be hard work but it will be so worth it! Having twins makes me feel super special and God willing it won't be long till I have my bundles of joy in my arms. God may seem like he likes to play practical jokes with my life, but he has a plan and I trust it.

Am I an epic fail?

I'm a planner. I plan for days....I literally have a plan for everything. BUT it never works out and I'm struggling to work out why. Let me take you through 3 plans which have been an:

Plan #1

I planned to wait 3 years after getting married before having a baby. In this day and age how hard can that actually be? (that's what he said) Lol if you get it...you get it. So I took all the right precautions got myself on the pill, which I planned to take daily (that flopped). I then tried the natural method making use of the technology that is now available apps etc. and on the fertile days it was a mixture of abstinence or the pull out game (that flopped). So anyway you've hopefully read the previous blog posts and are up to speed that I got set up/knocked up and now I have my bundle of joy Arianna, who I normally refer to as "my baby" during conversations which is quite weird. But after the horrific pain during labour I think I earned the right to call her whatever I want... She is awesome, look at her!

The thing is I know every parent thinks their child is really beautiful so I get worried that I may have filters on but then I think too many people say it to me, can they all really be lying? So I applied for her to join the top 3 baby modelling agencies in the UK because they don't mind calling your child butters...it's business. But they all ACCEPTED her. :-) If I was jobless she could be the new face of pampers...but mate I'm trying to sort my own career, can't be driving her for auditions every week that's a full time job! So she's gonna have to wait till she can catch bus...AWKS! Until that happens the only photoshoot she'll be getting is when Godmother J comes round with her fancy camera.


Plan #2

I planned to have a live in nanny, to help with childcare, household chores and basically helping me to sort out my life. To be a successful married mother you need to have balance on point! I've met and seen a lot of people who are either really successful in their careers and single or divorced; married with kids and an average career or a successful single mother but to do all three well, you need help! Anyways so I thought I had it all planned out, if I had this nanny I could go to work full time at normal hours so my baby (Arianna) would be looked after, there would be food for Prince and Gifty(sister/adopted daughter...long story) to eat and I would be getting on with making that money!

Anyways, it worked for a month...then it flopped! Exactly a week before I had to go back to work...why does my whole life need to be like some movie that went straight to DVD release? So I messed around with au pair world for a while...but then I thought if I rush it and I get a random that don't speak english too well moving in to my house a couple of days before I go back to work...it actually doesn't make sense! And as a mother you actually have to try to do the sensible thing...so I started looking for nurseries. Cut a long story short..I will be doing a blog on childcare. But in 3 words it is LONG, EXPENSIVE and a NIGHTMARE. My baby (Arianna) is basically doing a mix and match of all the childcare options at the same time, just to keep her on her toes...not because my plan was a major flop!


Plan #3

I planned to look ON POINT for my 1st day at work. You know that perfect look of flawless but it doesn't look like you tried! That perfect balance...I bought a new outfit, make-up and hair accessories. I even woke up half an hour earlier so I could take my time perfecting the look. I'll walk you through the morning. Brushed my teeth then had an extra long hot shower in the morning with mint shower gel.Then moisturised with cocoa butter and sprayed double portion of my deodorant because I remembered the stress of travelling on the central line. Put on my clothes,tights, jewellery etc. then started on #PROJECTMAKE-UP. D Day had come and I had bought all the necessary tools. I had gone out shopping the day before for eyeliner, a natural colour eye shadow and a make-up setting spray. So I started by using my primer then continued with the rest of my routine. Tears are falling as I write this bit because I'm still not quite over what I went through that horrific morning.

My make-up was fully done and it was the best I had ever done it. I looked in the mirror and I was thinking daaaaaaang why have I never taken the time to do my make-up like this??? I was feeling myself too much! I had definitely crossed the line of vanity. I guess thats why they say PRIDE comes before A FALL. I shook the make-up setting spray bottle then sprayed it all over my face. Looked in the mirror and it just looked a bit wet...I was like calm it will dry, let me pack my make-up away. Erm so 20 seconds later I look back in the mirror to admire myself and there was WHITE STUFF all over my face. I looked like a reverse dalmation and it had also gone all over the top of my black dress. Full break down mode, Nollywood style...held my head and did some dramatic scream, I only had 10 mins to get to the station! Anyways to cut a long story short, Prince said I looked like a vampire from Twilight in the sun and then told me to go wash my whole face and do 5 mins make-up so we could leave. The white stuff had proper dried on everything, even my eyelids and my lipstick. Mate, that wasn't even a fail it was a death a little part of me actually died. Everyone keeps cussing me about how you don't try new things on important days but maaate I wasn't ready....and I didn't see that coming.

Word of wisdom: If you fail at something, you are not a failure.The real failure is when you stop trying! All 3 of my plans failed but it's ok because when plans don't work out you should change the plan but never change the goal.

Disclaimer: Unless it's a crap goal...AWKS

I look like a Black Shrek!!!

There's a lot of amazing things about being pregnant - another human is growing inside of you...it's a miracle. Every time you feel the baby move, or in my baby's case kicking and punching ...you feel the bond getting stronger. The scans where you can actually see the baby starting to take form are unreal and it makes you start thinking about the reality of having a child that you will be responsible for, for the rest of your life!

However, the symptoms of pregnancy are just butters!!! Most people will say I'm lucky because I didn't have any morning sickness at all. Most pregnant women suffer from nausea, vomiting, or both during their first trimester. Symptoms are usually worse in the morning, but they can continue all day long. Awkward!!! Imagine going to work and throwing up all over the place...not the one!

Now I'm not sure if this is karma...because of all the characters/animals I've compared my friends to over the years but pregnancy has changed the way I look! I have a gift...I can take a look at you and tell you what/who you look like. My closest friends have been compared to Pumba/Squirrels/Horses etc. they may deny it at 1st but they know its true. But why me??? Pregnancy has literally turned me into Shreks wife!

You may think it's not that deep...but it actually is! My nose has taken up half of my face and is showing no signs of slowing down...I've never had a small nose so I thought God will allow me...but no, the curse is real! #pregnancyhurts So my face is getting eaten up by my nose and so the rest of my face is now trying to compete! My cheeks, lips and eyes are all bulging out in the name of keeping all things equal. To make the whole situation worse I decided to go for a big curly hairstyle which I thought would distract everyone from the size of my face but instead it just makes me hot and sweaty which is just another thing I could do without!!!

I went to tell my mum my revelation about looking like Shrek because I thought she would comfort me as that is what mothers are supposed to do...But nope she was like, "that's exactly what you look like! And Prince walks, talks and eats like Shrek." She finished my whole life in one sentence. I went to go and have a lie down so the pain could subside but when I closed my eyes all I saw was my future family portrait:

Another annoying symptom I have is that I no longer sound like an 8 year old girl...I skipped a womanly voice and went straight to Morgan Freeman! There's so much bass in my voice that the room vibrates when I talk! I mean why do things like this happen to me...I also have the blackest neck in history and don't even get me started on the amount of hair growth in every place imaginable...lovely!

But in the voice of Morgan Freeman, "If all these ridiculous symptoms bring me one step closer to seeing my beautiful shrekified baby...let it be."

3 months to go!!!

I'm exactly 6 months pregnant today. Half a year!!! Time has literally flown by with no signs of slowing down. I thought writing a blog for the whole 9 months would be a bit long so I waited patiently for the final trimester to put this experience into words.

My journey started 4.5 months ago on a random Wednesday. As I work for a fantastic company, I was scheduled to go for a full health check up with Bupa in Canary Wharf. This was my first time so I was a bit nervous and was praying that everything would be ok. they started with the basics - weight, height, BMI, urine test, blood test, blood pressure etc. Then they stepped it up with the spinal check, ECG, lung function/capacity test and a flexibility test to find any stiffness in my muscles. I would highly recommend a health check - it was thorough and they gave you a detailed report on your health within a week.

Anyway, I digress...my ECG showed that my heart was beating faster than average and was slightly irregular so the Dr asked me whether I had been dizzy, fatigued or sick. I told her that I'd been dizzy a few times after working out but just put it down to dehydration. She asked me various other questions and said she would like to do some more tests. My mind was racing because I didn't know what the outcome was going to be and I felt like I had zero control.

She called the lab for the urine sample to be brought down and informed me that it was highly unlikely but she would do a pregnancy test on my urine just to rule it out. I was thinking, LOL how jokes would that be if I was preggers. Prince and I had discussed it over the past couple of months and I had been #teamwait and he had been #teamcreate. Now, truth be told we had agreed in marriage counselling that we would start trying for a baby in January hence his enthusiasm but I had just got a new role at work and thought one more year would have been ideal!

So the urine sample finally came down and I was so calm, we were laughing and chatting as we were waiting for the result. Then she went over to look at it and said, I don't understand...it says you're pregnant. My first thought was that she was joking and was just saying that to scare me so I smiled and said, okie, Then she said, you're taking the news quite well. I was like, what!!!! are you serious??? My brain stopped functioning, I was thinking of everything all at once...there was silence for like a minute. Then she broke it by saying, let me do another test just in case... After the second test was also positive, we both just sat there and laughed for a bit.

The Dr then did a stomach examination and because I was feeling some pain in my stomach she got scared and said the pregnancy might be happening in the wrong place so she was sending me for an emergency antenatal check up. As I had come via tube she said I needed to call Prince to come and get me. When I called I said, the Dr said I'm not well and I can't get on the tube so come and get me.

I will never forget Prince's words, "You were probably ill before you got there and you managed on the tube ok, you will be fine getting back. I'm busy at work I can't come all the way to canary wharf. I believe in you, you can do it." So I said ok, speak to the Dr. After literally 10 secs he agreed to come and get me!!! I couldn't believe it. When it was me, he thought I was over exaggerating but when the Dr said it, he lapped it up!

To cut a long story short...he came to get me and acted extremely concerned. I looked into his naughty puppy dog eyes and told him that I was pregnant. And his first words were, "You did it." I didn't understand the statement and tbh I still don't understand it now. But when you're happy you laugh at everything and happy I was...we laughed throughout the journey to the appointment not at all caring about the complications the Dr thought I had because we knew God is and will always be on our side!